big behaviours
tell us something
let’s get curious!
Meltdowns. Shutdowns. Refusal. Running away. Overwhelm.
The behaviour we see is often only the end result.
When we understand what’s happening underneath, the triggers, automatic/survival responses, emotions, regulation and sensory needs, we can stop waiting for things to fall apart before we offer support.
who is this for?
Understanding Big Behaviours was originally created for parents of children with Autism, ADHD and PDA (just like me!) as a kind of ‘manual’ for navigating all those behaviours that just don’t seem to make sense.
But somewhere along the way, it became something bigger.
It became an ‘understanding human beings in general‘ course.
Even while creating it, I began to understand myself better, particularly through the survival and trauma responses section. My hope is that you’ll do the same: gain a deeper understanding of yourself (and perhaps even experience a little healing along the way) before working through the activities for the children or people in your care.
In a nutshell, Understanding Big Behaviours is for anyone parenting, teaching, supporting or working with little (or big!) people who wants to better understand themselves and the people in their care.
It’s for anyone who wants to build stronger relationships through curiosity, empathy and understanding.
And it’s not about finding a quick fix or “fixing” behaviour.
That’s not the point at all.
The goal is to understand what behaviour may be communicating, and use that understanding to support the person underneath it.
Tash Kritter
Director | B.Ed K – Yr 7 | 18yrs Lived Experience
why are they melting down over that?!
It might look like it’s about putting on shoes.
But underneath could be:
- Too many questions
- Not enough processing time
- Scratchy clothes
- Hunger
- Tiredness
- Anxiety
- A change in routine
- Repetitive background noise
The behaviour you see is only the tip of the iceberg…
So what might the behaviour be communicating?
why it matters
Because behaviour is communication, even when it’s big, loud, quiet or confusing.
When we look beyond the behaviour and get curious about what’s underneath, we can:
- See the person, not just the behaviour
- Respond with understanding rather than judgement
- Choose connection rather than control
- Help people feel seen, heard, valued and safe
- Create calmer environments where relationships can thrive
Every behaviour tells us something.
It’s worth getting curious about.
so what’s happening underneath?
The behaviour we see is the end result. The iceberg reminds us that there can be a whole lot happening underneath that we can’t see.
The pyramid helps us unpack it.
We start at the bottom, looking at what happens before the big behaviour, then work our way up towards understanding, regulation and proactive support.
TRIGGERS
What happened before the behaviour?
Triggers are often the things we can’t see. They might be sensory, emotional, environmental or situational, and they can build up throughout the day.
We start by learning to recognise different types of triggers and the patterns that might otherwise go unnoticed.
RESPONSES
Triggers can cause automatic survival responses.
Fight. Flight. Freeze. Fawn.
These responses aren’t choices or “bad behaviour”. We explore what these automatic responses can look like, including the less obvious ones, so we can start recognising what’s happening underneath.
EMOTIONS
What are our emotions telling us?
What do they look like, sound like and feel like?
We learn to recognise emotions as useful information about what’s happening inside us and what we may need to become regulated again.
CO & SELF-REGULATION
Now we can start getting proactive.
Instead of waiting for overwhelm, we look at the everyday things we can put in place to prevent or reduce big behaviours.
Routines. Visual schedules. Supported transitions. Clear expectations. Organised people and organised spaces.
Small environmental changes can make life feel more predictable, manageable and regulated.
SENSORY REGULATION
What helps our bodies and brains feel regulated?
We explore sensory preferences, hormones and movement breaks, and the little things we can intentionally add into our days to help meet our needs and regulate.
UNDERSTANDING & EMPATHY
When we understand what’s happening underneath the behaviour, it becomes easier to respond with curiosity and empathy instead of frustration.
We stop focusing on ‘How do I stop this behaviour?’ and start asking, ‘What is this behaviour telling me?’
and we start with YOU!
Because understanding what fills your cup, and intentionally adding more of it, makes it easier to support someone else.
don’t wait for the meltdown to start supporting
Once we start recognising what sits underneath behaviour, we can put daily supports in place.
- Clear expectations
- Predictable routines
- Supported transitions
- Visual schedules
- Sensory tools
- Movement breaks
- Lower demands
- Organised people
- Organised spaces
The goal isn’t to fix the behaviour. It’s to understand what it may be communicating, and to put supports in place before overwhelm.
your calm matters too.
fill your cup first.
Supporting someone else through overwhelm is really hard when you’re already running on empty.
So before we only look at their triggers, their emotions and their regulation, we start with you.
- Notice what drains your capacity
- Know what helps you regulate
- Intentionally add things to your day that fill your cup
- Then learn what works for them.
so what does support actually look like?
ready to put all the pieces together?
Course + Workbook
Take everything you’ve started exploring here and learn how to apply it to yourself and the children, students or clients you support.
Rather than simply giving you another list of behaviour strategies, Understanding Big Behaviours helps you work through the layers underneath behaviour, so you can recognise patterns, understand what may be communicating and make more intentional decisions about support.
choose your course + workbook:
option 1.
online only
$89
What you get:
✨ Understanding Big Behaviours online course PLUS printable resources – everything you need to get started straight away.
- online course for 365 days
- printable workbook
- printable resources (138 pages)
- printable sensory profile
option 2.
online + printed workbook
$199
23 in stock
What you get:
✨ Professionally printed 200 page workbook to complete alongside the online course.
- professionally printed workbook (200 pages)
- FREE tri-colour highlighter
- FREE behaviour tracker notepad
- FREE gel pen
- online course for 365 days
- printable workbook
- printable resources (138 pages)
- printable sensory profile
- express posted ✈️
kids church
training modules
Practical, easy-to-understand training to help Kids Church teams look beyond the behaviour and get curious about what’s happening underneath.
Learn how clear expectations, reduced demands, sensory tools, movement breaks, redirection and an understanding of trauma responses can help children feel safe, regulated and supported.
Additional modules for leaders and room coordinators focus on setting kids up for success through thoughtful environments, predictable routines, smoother transitions and a well-planned flow to the room and day.
consulting | PDs
training & workshops
Practical, neurodiversity-affirming and trauma-informed support for schools, churches and organisations wanting to create more inclusive environments where people feel safe, understood and supported. Training, workshops and consulting focus on understanding the triggers and responses underneath behaviour, putting practical supports in place before the overwhelm, and creating environments that set people up for success.
1:1 consulting is also available to help teams better understand and support individual children they may be struggling to include.
not ready for the whole course?
Start by getting curious.
Download FREE BUNDLE and start noticing the little things that fill your cup, drain your capacity and contribute to overwhelm.
Then start adding little things to your day and theirs, to help you:
See the Person.
Create Calm Environments.
Strengthen Relationships.
FREE printables👇
Ready to get curious?
Learn more about who we are and what we are about 👇
big behaviours
tell us something
let’s get curious!
We don’t need to wait for big behaviours to start supporting.
Get curious.
Understand what’s underneath.
Put supports in place.
where curiosity meets connection.
ask Tash a question